It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
