So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
