even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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