we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
