Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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