rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
