I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
