fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
