Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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