Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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