the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
