Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
