I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
