Sry I called you an 8
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
