last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
