bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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