Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
