508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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