I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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