were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Four minutes until I can fart!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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