how can u be prego again
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
