We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
