Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
