I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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