Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
