I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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