i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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