how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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