So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
