so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
