No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
