a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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