she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
