i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
