OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
