Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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