i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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