you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
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