I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
