Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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