i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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