just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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