May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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