my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
this just has baby written all over it
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
