I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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