Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
