two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
