not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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