Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
