All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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