playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
