Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
They took my balls.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
